Ever felt like despite doing everything you possibly can, you keep getting stuck at 99?
If your bank balances, your cash in hand, your weighing scale, your relationships, or
whatever else is the metrics that you select to assess your life by, are not making you happy.
If no matter what you do, you keep feeling like you are falling short, then most likely you
have one of the four syndromes.
Truth be told, most of us have bits of all.
1. Unprocessed Emotions ~ No we are not talking about something that happened this
morning or a few days ago. We are talking about that little slight you felt when you
were 16 and your best friend turned you down and went out with their new crush
[who anyway dumped them a few weeks after that!], or the snub you felt when a
“rich” neighbhour made you realize their 3 rd car was on the way home while your
family didn’t still have a two-wheeler. Or if you were “rich” then the friend who was
struggling to pay the fees at college making you feel guilty for having everything easy.
We often don’t even know how these unprocessed incidents and the emotion that they
churn within us, keep us small. Guilt, Sorrow, Embarassment, Anger, Fear … all
We may not remember the incident or the person that caused it, but we do store the emotion
that came out of it in our bodies and minds. #EmotionalDejavu
Realize how some people feel so accustomed to certain emotions, they almost keep going
back to it?
One of the most Powerful Techniques to tackle Emotions and work on clearing them from
your system, is Meditation. Combined with Yoga.
2. Stories we Made ~ Remember the time you overheard a conversation of your parents
about their financial struggle, and began to think you are poor. For days it stayed with you.
You started to take your small decisions around it too. You skipped a few meals at school and
saved the money. You even told your best friend about it. You were all of six. When you
couldn’t contain it anymore and asked your father about it, you realized their struggles were
at a different level. They were finding it difficult to plan which of the two luxury cars they
should finally select since one was more value for money than the other! Their conversation
or the situation wasn’t the problem. The story you made from it was.
Where are you doing this to yourself today? Where have you made a story around a situation
with the limited information you have, or from a perspective which is only yours? How is
that story coming in the way of you living your dream life? Maybe it’s a relationship you are
giving up on when your partner is still working on it, because you believe they haven’t made
enough efforts when they actually were outdoing themselves in the situation they were put
in? Maybe you are reconciling to a career you don’t really want because your story is that
compromise is a must in life and everyone does it. Maybe you are keeping away from money
and wealth because as a child you heard from your circle of influence, that money makes
Go back and unearth that story! On a morning run maybe. Take the effort to research if
needed, talk to people if needed, just let it go if needed. Reframing the stories that are holding you back can be liberating.
3. Beliefs ~ What do you have strong convictions about? Our beliefs can come from our
culture, where we grew up, our peer group, our family, almost anything in our environment
that has influence on us. In some cultures, the belief is that parents shouldn’t praise their own kids in front of others. Maybe you never got praised, infact maybe your parents actually
praised other kids in front of you. You began to believe that you were not worthy at all. Or
maybe you picked up early cues in life to mean that money can only be made by doing wrong things, or by working very, very hard. That money comes to bad people. That there are no free lunches. That you can’t have the cake and eat it too. Which of these resonated? Made you feel “yes, I know that feeling!”
Time to let it go. Time to take of the glasses you are wearing with coloured filters of
everything you grew up to believe is true.
4. Failure to Upskill ~ Have you seen people who are constantly learning new things, or
upgrading the things they are already doing? They seem to be multi-tasking and always on
the run. You may have wondered why they don’t slow down or even how they really manage
all of it at once. They are upskilling and bettering themselves on different levels constantly. If
you observe closely, you would realize they are often the very same people who grow and
keep getting closer to their dream lives, or perhaps are already living it. This component of
the four-point upgrading system, is the easiest to pursue and acquire. The other three may
take time, could be tedious, might not fit into your calendar, especially because it can bring
up upsetting feelings and memories and so you may tend to procrastinate. Upskilling in
different areas of your life keeps your mind fresh, rejuvenated.
Your life is what you make it, or what you don’t. Becoming aware of these four attributes can
be a great start to calibrating your system and getting ready for your dream life.